On the 25th of May 2020 George Floyd was killed by a police officer in broad daylight. Another senseless murder of a member of the black community, it sparked a chain of events that caused people to take notice. It caused people to think about the racism black people have suffered. It has added fuel to the Black Lives Matter movement and raised it's worldwide profile. Now more than ever it feels like there has been a shift in consciousness, like people both black and white people have had enough of the systemic racism that poisons our lives. This is why it is so important for us to talk to children about #Blacklivesmatter. If we are going to make things better it starts with educating both ourselves and our children.
In addition to writing this post I also spoke about this topic on the BBC Bitesized Primary Parents Survival Guide Podcast. Here is a 30sec clip from the show, and thank you to the Bitesized team and Eli Sessions for having me on the show.
Click here to listen to the full Podcast - How to talk to your children about Black Lives Matter
There is no point trying to broach a subject with your children that you know little about . If you want to be able to answer their questions and have an insightful conversation with them, you need to know what you’re talking about. Throughout this blog piece there are one or two resources to help with this but stay curious and keep exploring. There is so much out there.
Whether you realise it or not, being a white person grants that person certain rights that are not extended to black people. Tackling racism is also about challenging the stereotypes of white privilege which we see everyday. These stereotypes are linked to institutional or systematic racism and changing them will be pivotal in changing attitudes as a whole. If you are white this is one of the hardest parts of racism to grasp and come to terms with. Partly because white or black we’ve had so many years of accepting white privilege as the norm. So when you talk to children about #blacklivesmatter it’s important to remember to include this side of things.
We live in a diverse world with people of different races and cultures. We need to demonstrate and make our children aware of these from an early age. The more they see and know about diversity and race the more they will understand it. A really good way way to start this is through reading. We read books to our children from a very young age and with any luck they carry on reading into adulthood. Here are a list of books compiled by Kidadl that tackle diversity, race and the issues surrounding racism. Read some for your children, suggest titles they can read themselves and be prepared for the conversations they start.
Racism can be a very difficult topic to discuss, especially when looking at the uglier side of it. Topics like hate, cruelty and the violence can be shocking and scary for adults let alone children. Be mindful and sensitive to this and discuss as age appropriately as you can. We must realise that some topics will need to be revisited as our kids become more mature and gain experience. There is no need to frighten them unnecessarily. But this is also not a reason to not have difficult conversations.
It’s one of the fundamentals of life but it doesn’t hurt to reiterate this when it comes to race. We need to educate our kids to treat others in the same way we would like to be treated regardless of race, religion colour or creed. Children are not born racist they learn racist behaviour from the people around them. If we can eradicate this we are half way to eradicating racism.
This point is taken from our How to be a good Dad post? Children constantly look to their parents to see the way they should behave. Even when you think they are not paying attention, they are. When dealing with a subject as sensitive as racism you must try to behave in a way you would like them to behave. If we can’t demonstrate anti-racism as parents how can we expect our children to?
As a parent educating themselves about racism we are lucky to have some incredible films and TV shows that I regard as essential viewing. They cover different times, different subjects, different aspects, and different problems. I have included this basic list. Watch as many as you can, absorb them, imagine the atrocities were committed against you. Hopefully it will drive you to fight against racism and talk to children about #BlacklivesMatter.
It’s important that we hear from those of you out there living it. Have you got black or multiracial children? Have you’re kids experienced racism? What other resources can help with this topic?
Please leave your comments in the section below and share this post and other Dadvengers Posts with other dads and parents. The more the merrier. And remember, Mums, Grandparents, Carers, Parenting Professionals you are an integral part of this. We can’t improve things for dads and help make changes without you. So please help, even if it’s just sharing a post or making a suggestion.
Look forward to hearing from you
Dadvengers
Here are Mr W’s top homeschooling tips during lockdown. Being a primary school teacher from the north of England these simple tips should take a little bit of the stress out of the homeschooling process.
The most sensible answer is to follow the guidance your school has set. I know from my fortunate position behind the scenes at school, that all staff at every school are working hard to develop the best home-school tasks; to maintain learnt knowledge and further develop the kids’ thinking. Whilst it’s difficult to manage work with little to no contact, every teacher I know wants the best for their children; it is the vocation they signed up for. If they can help, I know they will try!
But I know it can be challenging to complete school-work at home without specialist resources, or experience in education and certain topics might feel like a mystery – especially if you didn’t learn it at school yourself!
Here are my top ideas to engage your children in some positive learning experiences at home:
I often talk to parents about ‘incidental learning’, although I am sure It is known by other names too. Incidental learning is encouraging children to apply their learnt skills around day-to-day tasks and engaging them in topics of their interest. For example, you might use maths to add up the weekly shop, or discuss what helps the flowers grow in the garden. Could they learn about magnetism by playing with the fridge door? Back at school before lockdown (and the current lack of sport), a favourite of my class was keeping track of football scores and calculating how many games were needed to win the league!
Incidental learning is a brilliant way to reinforcing basic, key understanding. I’ve heard it described as ‘providing a hook to hang ideas on’ and it gives children great contextual information about how the world around them works.
Incidental learning can reinforce that you do actually use the skills you learned at school! (even if you might not regularly recite Shakespeare!).
I spend a lot of time amongst family friends – I am missing the board games and other family activities that we enjoy together. There is so much beneficial learning (especially for younger children) that comes from these activities. From an academic viewpoint alone, board games encourage reading, developing new vocabulary and basic maths skills.
More importantly, in my opinion, playing with family and friends has a great impact on a child’s social skills. A key conversation around education at the moment is the rise of the iPad generation, or extended screen time. It has been argued that screen-time leads to under-developed social skills and poor self-regulation (the ability to stop and think before acting impulsively). Whilst no one wants to make their children lose every time (I hope!), dealing with disappointment or managing frustration is such an important skill for both adult and kids.
Family games are a great way to build these skills.
Children at secondary school can be more independent in their learning and good resources can be found in course guides and online. Both BBC Bitesize and the new Oak Academy have excellent reviews amongst the professionals I have spoken to, and YouTube’s great for targeting specific learning in most subjects.
Equally, there are a lot of excellent apps and games that can be found linked from education websites – whilst we’re keen not to spend hours behind a screen, the internet is such an excellent resource; it seems a shame to waste it. It’s also an excellent way to engage learning for more repetitive tasks, such as times tables or spelling.
The next of my Homeschooling Tips during Lockdown is an important one. As educators we completely understand that some things just can’t be taught at home. Equally, some topics are really challenging to deliver in a classroom and some concepts just require lots of repetition. This can be a particular challenge with older children due to more specific/high-level content, though some concepts in the primary curriculum are not simple either.
If they’re struggling, encourage your kids to practise what they can do and to get really good at that instead. If you both get stuck, then focus on what they can do. Practicing skills and becoming more secure in existing understanding will only help them catch up faster when they return to school. It also provides an excellent foundation for further learning and solving problems using the skills they already have.
Everyone has a passion and whilst I am looking forward to this experience being over, I also know that a lot of families are able to spend a lot more time together than usual life-commitments allow them. This is a perfect time to introduce your children to your own passions and show them the side of you that gets excited about them!
The best teaching I have ever delivered in a classroom is when I’m in love with a subject. I look forward to afternoons spent discussing Greek Myths, Ancient Egyptian mummification, and building Iron Age Roundhouses. When I speak to older pupils, I’m also told that these are often the lessons they remember most.
Share what you love, and try to inspire the same! Though I take no blame for any ‘old music’ arguments!
I hope these Homeschooling Tips during Lockdown help you navigate these interesting times. Stay home and Stay Safe!
For more tips and posts aimed at helping dads make sure you head to the Dadvengers Blog. And if you would like to contribute please don’t hesitate to get in touch.
Earlier this summer, while doing some research into my Dadvengers Initiative, I stumbled across an article. It was about a dad who started a parenting group to stop dads being lonely. Dad La Soul is nearly 2 years old now and is specifically aimed at Dads, Step Dads, Grandads, male carers and their children. The group currently meets once a month in Worthing and also in Hurst Pier Point with a new group starting in Brighton next month. The lovely thing about it is that each month a local dad leads a workshop that the rest of the group take part in. These workshops can be in anything from Dj’ing to Robot building to film making and draw upon skills that local dads have acquired over the years.
So to really find out what the group was like I decided to attend with my daughter and get a feel for what their ethos is. While there I managed to talk to the groups founder Dan Flanagan who is very passionate about helping dads. We spoke about all aspects of the group and how it’s helping combat the lack of support for hands on dads.
When his son was about 3 years old, Dan realised that due to working in the corporate sector he wasn’t spending much time with his family. He’d be up and out early in the morning and back with only minutes left to enjoy with his son. So he decide to leave his job and set up Tot Rockin Beats an intergenerational afternoon rave. This was a great success and out of it was born Dad La Soul. The aim being to help dads remember how to play with their kids. And subsequently, create a network of dads through groups that meet on a regular basis.
I must say it’s refreshing to see dads really getting involved with this group. It highlights how much dads want and need groups like this. Of course there will be people out there who think it’s not for them but Dan challenges those non believers to attend a Dad La soul event. And to be fair, I think they would be pleasantly surprised. On the day I went we did a silent disco beach clean followed by a seaweed tasting festival. All on a beautiful summer’s day at Worthing beach.
To hear more of what Dan had to say and find out what he thinks is the hardest part about being a dad in 2019, check out the video below:-
I think dads groups are a great idea and there is definitely a need for more of them. Which is why I’m going to look into starting a Dadvengers one in London over the next few months. As well as that, I’m also going to dedicate a page on my website to promoting dads groups that have been established all over the UK. So if you know of one please get in touch or leave a comment in the section below.
It’s important that we hear from those of you out there living it. Are you a dad that attends a dads group? If so what’s it like? Can you recommend a good dads group in the UK? Would a dads group appeal to you?
Please leave your comments in the section below and share this post with other parents, the more the merrier. And remember, mums you are an integral part of this. We can’t improve things for dads and help make changes without you. So please, please, help even if it’s just sharing a post or making a suggestion.
Look forward to hearing from you
N
