Dadvengers Podcast Episode 16 – Stu Oakley
It’s Dadvengers Podcast Episode 16 – Stu Oakley. This weeks’ guest is dad to three children, and one half of the award winning podcast Some Families.
We chat all things parenthood. From knowing how adoption was right for them, to the overloaded adoption system leading to baby number three being a surprise! We delved into therapeutic parenting, and the pressures placed on adoptive parents – especially those in same sex relationships. Stu also opens up about how difficult the lockdowns were on him and how we all need to look after our mental health. We talked about the pressures placed on adoptive parents – especially those in same sex relationships. And we discussed the importance of changing the hyper gendered language used in parenting. Also listen out for what might be our favourite parenting superpower yet!
This is another fantastic episode packed with great information and advice from a brilliant hands on dad – thanks Stu, and welcome to the Dadvengers community!
Use the player above to listen to Dadvengers Podcast Episode 10
Episode Time Stamps
2:16 – “I was going to be a dad one day… I pictured that growing up” Stu on how he always knew he wanted to be a dad, and his three children.
07:29 – Stu’s advise for people looking at the different routes to become a family. – “You’ve just got to feel what’s right for you”
09:57 – “We got an email saying there was another sibling.” We delve into how Stu’s third child was a welcome surprise addition to their family.
12:16 – “We were really angry… He’d spent two weeks in hospital completely on his own.” – Stu and his husband found out their kids baby sibling had been in care for 5 month due to a human error in an overworked system.
17:09 – “Jon is very patient… I am more impulsive.” – Stu tells us about the impact of having kids on his relationship with his husband Jon – and their parenting styles
20:39 – Talking about Stu’s childhood and how his dad is a great role model.
26:00 – “I felt like I was doing a bad job at work and a bad job parenting…” – Stu opens up about how difficult the lockdowns were for him and how he looks after his mental health.
30:13 – Stu on how everyone needs to find someone to talk, and how we all need to learn to ask for support.
34:43 – “Having an outlet where you can speak to other parents is so important.” – Stu on how important it is to have a good parenting network around you.
38:09 – Stu tells us all about therapeutic parenting. How important this is, and why it can put a lot of pressure on parents.
42:48 – “The language we use around parenting is so un-inclusive sometimes.” Stu chats about the hyper-gendered language around parenting.
51:46 – Parenting Superpower!
Also on Dadvengers…
If you enjoyed this episode of the Dadvengers Podcast don’t forget to check out some of the others. We have dads from all sorts of backgrounds and industries talking about their journey’s through fatherhood. And more are being added all the time.
Whether you are male, female, and parent or a parenting professional there’s lots to be learned by listening to men tell their stories. We also have a comments box below if you’d like to leave your thoughts.
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Another awesome guest that will hopefully inspire others to keep on learning as we parent. There is no one size fits all formula to being a dad we all have to adapt to whatever life throws at us.
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