Dadvengers Podcast Episode 32 – Ortis Deley
***Trigger Warning*** – In this episode we discuss topics that may be triggering for some listeners, namely miscarriage. If you are affected by any of the subjects in this episode you can find support here.
It’s the Dadvengers Podcast Episode 32 – Ortis Deley. This week’s guest is a radio DJ, actor and tv presenter, best known as the host of the Gadget Show. But his most important job is as a dad to two young children! We are so pleased to welcome the brilliant Ortis Deley to the podcast!
Ortis waited until he was 43 to become a dad; he wanted to feel ready and have life set up first. However, he and his wife didn’t find it as easy as they’d hoped to become parents. It wasn’t until they’d experienced three miscarriages that they were able to find support from a specialist doctor. Families experiencing miscarriage often don’t get to talk about it as much as they might need. It is a topic that can be hard to hear and talk about. But by openly discussing his experiences, Ortis hopes to help other families who have been through, or are going through, the same thing.
Ortis was told he’d have to work harder than other kids from a young age. But, he didn’t understand this was because of his race until he was older. This has meant that Ortis is more open with children. He is raising them with a healthy understanding of how the world will view them because they’re black. Moreover, he is ensuring they have the tools to help them navigate this from a young age.
We are so grateful to Ortis for joining us and sharing his experiences. 💙
Use the player above to listen to Dadvengers Podcast Episode 32
Episode Time Stamps
2:05 – “I became a dad at 43… The fear didn’t really creep in until we were at home!”
– Ortis on becoming a parent.
7:46 – “My dad was the disciplinarian… I have never heard him say I love you, but I know that he does.”
– Ortis’ relationship with his dad.
14:06 – “I am raising kids who will be categorised, classed and hemmed in.”
– Ortis on raising his children to be aware of the prejudices they may face in life.
18:15 – “My daughter is 6 and my son is 3. It is important my kids are aware they’ll be treated differently because of how they look.”
– How Ortis also educates his children about race.
23:58 – “Trying not to be my dad when it comes to discipline is a lot harder than I thought it would be!”
– What Ortis finds difficult about parenting.
26:24 – “Being a parent ain’t easy and my wife is always encouraging me to apologise to our children. To let them know that it’s OK to make a mistake.”
– Why apologising to our kids is so important.
36:06 – “Rachel and I had three miscarriages… nothing prepares you for that.”
– Ortis shares his experience with miscarriage.
40:33 – “A friend told us about a miscarriage specialist… that treatment resulted in Phoenix.”
– Ortis on the treatment that led to them having their children,
42:38 – “It is healthy to cry, and it is healthy to talk. There wasn’t anything bottled up.”
– How Ortis and his wife have coped with their experiences.
44:30 – “More people should be made aware of its potential… and that there are more ways to help”.
– Ortis on why we should talk about miscarriage more.
46:39 – “I also hope that anyone going through it, or has been through it, knows somebody they can share the burden with.”
– The importance of talking and getting support.
48:37 – “Phoenix brought happiness from the ashes of three miscarriages… Quincey means, number 5, he was our fifth pregnancy!”
– The significance of Ortis’ children’s names.
55:41 – Ortis’ dad superpower.
Also on Dadvengers…
If you enjoyed this episode of the Dadvengers Podcast don’t forget to check out some of the others. We have dads from all sorts of backgrounds and industries talking about their journey’s through fatherhood. And more are being added all the time.
Whether you are male, female, and parent or a parenting professional there’s lots to be learned by listening to men tell their stories. We also have a comments box below if you’d like to leave your thoughts.
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Another awesome guest that will hopefully inspire others to keep on learning as we parent. There is no one size fits all formula to being a dad we all have to adapt to whatever life throws at us.
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