Last week it was the 2 year anniversary of George Floyd’s murder. We feel it is so important to keep talking about George Floyd and keep working to raise awareness, make changes and educate ourselves and others on race.
In this week's Dad Chats we spoke about whether we feel anything has changed in the last 2 years in regards to Race and Racism. Are people still talking about what happened to George Floyd, and working to make change? Is race, racism and diversity a topic of discussion in your household? What more can we do to educate, and make change? This is a massive topic, and one that we know we can't cover all of in one chat - and you know we will come back to it again...
This dad chat was really enlightening. Thanks to @iam_papab and @markgs21 for coming up to speak on the subject and everyone who joined in on the comments. Let's keep the conversation going.
This is subject close to our hearts here at Dadvengers, and we have lots of content across the site about this important topic.
Check out just some of these great Dad Chats, blogs and podcast episodes that talk about race:
OK folks, this is a big one for all parents. The parent guilt... it can crop up at any time, no matter how well we are doing, that nagging guilt creeps in. So we opened the floor to you and asked what are the moments that have given you that guilt and how you deal with it. We feel this is another topic that isn't discussed enough, we shouldn't feel ashamed of the guilt we all get. In fact, we should talk about it to share the burden and also get some support from our fellow parents.
It was great to hear from our community on these chats. We were joined by @liam_king_88 , @bennklewpatinond and @markgs21, @offshoots_rhys, @domjamesfenton, @kidzcoolit, @gordypope and @nickakebab about the guilt they feel as parents, and how they tackle it. As always a massive thanks to everyone who joined the conversation in the comments to.
Dad Chats is a fantastic resource for talking about all areas of parenting. Just some of the things we have covered are:
You can also use the search feature on the website to find chats and blogs about topics of your choice!
Did you enjoy this chat? Do you have a topic you'd like us to discuss? Get in touch and let us know!
As this month is Black History month we wanted to include the topic in one of our chats. So this week we talked about educating our kids about diversity. An important chat that touches on what some people find a difficult subject! The three topics were:
1. How and why we should teach our children about diversity. And the best ways to go about this?
2. How do we educate ourselves on the subject. If as parents we don't learn about race and diversity and inclusion how do we expect to be able to help teach our children?
3. Our light hearted topic this week was times that our kids have made us laugh the hardest.
If you enjoy this chat and want more resources on the subject make sure you check out our blog post on How to talk to children about #blacklivesmatter . It's a piece that was directly inspired from the murder of George Floyd, and is a good resource for those wanting to educate themselves on issues of race before beginning with their kids.
You might want to check out the chat we had in the days post George Floyd. It was an incredible chat with dads from the US and UK at a time when all the world was talking about the same thing. Still one of our best chats to date.
Also, there are some great podcast episodes that talk about racism and diversity - including how different dads talk to their children about this subject. Check them out...
Dad Chats Live - 25 September 2020, Baby changing facilities for men.
Despite it being 2020, and there many a huge amount of hands on fathers in the UK, there is still al lack of baby changing facilities for men. Many places only have baby changing in the ladies bathrooms - this isn't ok! How are dads meant to be encouraged to be hands on if they can't comfortably change their babies when out in public? So this week, we asked your experiences of baby changing in public. We wanted to hear about the fails, the funny times, and the frustration this causes us dads. We also asked for your suggestion of what can be done to make this better for us all.
Following the great chat about curling parents, this week we delved into another parenting style... tiger parents. If you've never heard of it, tiger parents use an authoritarian approach to push their child toward academic excellence or success in high-status extra curricular activities. These parents are often very pushy, and extremely strict. So we asked for your thoughts on this parenting style.
For our light-hearted topic we wanted to hear about the times you've laughed at your children, when you shouldn't have! We've all been there... our kids do something that we really shouldn't find funny, but we can't help but laugh anyway. Our community shared their hilarious stories. If you're in need of a laugh, this is the dad chat for you!
Topics We Covered:
1. Tiger Parents.
2. Baby Changing Facilities for Men.
3. Times that you have laughed at your children when you shouldn't have.
Working on The Baby Club has really reintroduced me to the world of parenting a baby or toddler. And not living it this time around, has enabled me to look at it from the outside. Something that is very hard to do while being overwhelmed by tiredness, learning new things, supporting your partner, and trying to survive. This time I get to observe how mums, dads, grandparents and carers go through this beautiful yet testing time. And more importantly I can see where people could do with a little support. (This is where The Dadvengers Initiative comes in, more on this in a minute). As those of you who’ve been through/are going through it know, there are no definitive rights or wrongs. Just the path you choose to navigate because it feels right for you.
One area where I feel we could do with more support is that of the hands-on dad. More and more dads are making the effort to be involved with their kids from birth and we all need to help encourage this even more. It’s true that in an ideal world we would not need to do this. All dads would embrace their part in raising happy healthy children. But the reality here in the UK is that dads have become better but there is still some way to go.
According to an article in 2017, back in 1965 men spent an average of 16 mins a day with their children. Cut to 2012 and that figure had risen to 59 mins a day and was still climbing. It’s not quite the 104 mins per day that mums clocked up (Well done team), but it’s definitely movement in the right direction. And looking at the stats worldwide we are one of the top 2 countries in terms of improvement. (For more on these stats check out the original article.)
The one thing I’m hearing directly from dads is that the early years landscape is not geared towards them. There are plenty of mother and baby groups, mummy blogs, mother and baby changing facilities but the dads are being overlooked. It’s not done deliberately but if we want dads to feel more comfortable being dads we need to help them. So this is me doing my little bit to help the cause.
On top of the obvious benefits to family life and child development, support for dads will also aid men's mental health. Historically men have not been the most receptive when it comes to dealing with their mental health. The fact that suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50, and that in the UK roughly 75 men a week (many of these fathers) take their own lives, is a big indicator to me that we need to do more to support dads*. Which is why mental health support is a core pillar of the Dadvengers Initiative.
*Statistics taken from - A letter to a Dad Contemplating Suicide
While working on Nigel’s Baby Club Diaries I had an idea to create an online community, forum and resource to help the dads out there. To give them a place to get advice, voice their questions and concerns and hear stories from other dads. Mums have loads of online resources to chose from, whereas there is far less for fathers. Which is the whole reason for this initiative.
Dads, just like mums come in all forms, young, older, black, white, gay, straight, and more. The one thing that unites us all, is that none of us has a clue what we’re doing when we first start parenting. But hopefully here amongst these posts, on our Live Dad Chats on Instagram, through our podcast and more, we can all help each other to feel more comfortable. We can navigate the challenges that arise, and ultimately take responsibility for our children’s development. Basically, we’re forming a team… The Dadvengers!
Mums you will be an integral part of getting dads involved. Believe it or not they listen to you, even if they pretend not to. Making them aware of this site and the topics we cover will be largely up to you in the early stages. Also providing your encouragement and support to dads here will help them know what they are doing is valued. So you see you are Dadvengers too.
So what are your thoughts on The Dadvengers Initiative? What questions or suggestions do you have? What topics would you like to see covered? Are you a hands on dad? Are you trying to encourage a dad to be more hands on?
At some point I would like this to become a podcast with dads talking about their fatherhood experiences. But for now let’s start off easy, get the conversation going and the thoughts and feelings flowing.
Please leave your comments in the section below and share this post with other parents, the more the merrier. And remember, mums you are an integral part of this. We can’t effect change in dads without you so please please please help if it’s just sharing a post or making a suggestion.
Now it’s over to you…
